Follow me as I undertake a 3-week detox program touted by Gwyneth Paltrow in her
July 9, 2009, GOOP newsletter. This cleanse, like most everything these days on GOOP, has gotten a ton of buzz mainly because people enjoy making fun of Paltrow. But I have a lot of respect for GOOP and for detoxification specialist Dr. Alejandro Junger, who is a colleague of Dr. Frank Lipman, a well-regarded NYC physician I met and heard speak at Rancho La Puerta spa a few years ago in Mexico. I'm a big fan of Lipman's book, I've heard great things about Lipman and Junger's
Eleven Eleven Wellness Center, and I've been wanting to try a cleanse.
Find out what happens during and after the 21 days are up. Do I end up feeling healthier? Am I rejuvenated? Do I sign up for the New York Marathon? Do I lose up to 10 pounds?
First, a Bit About Me
I'm breaking the rules a bit because I'm starting the cleanse at night, not in the morning. I've had the shake mix and the pills in the cupboard for about 3 weeks. I had planned to start one morning this week now that summer is winding down and I don't have a calendar full of barbecues and parties to attend. But today I ate so much crap that I was disgusted with myself and decided to start the cleanse STAT.
First a bit about me. I'm relatively healthy in my 30s, at 5'9" and about 163 pounds (in a minuscule gym towel. Without it, I estimate I'm 162 1/2 pounds). The rest of me is also healthy. My doctor actually said he was jealous of my cholesterol numbers, which thrilled me even though he's 60. I don't have high blood pressure. I'm banking on these things because my family history is ripe with cancer, heart disease, diabetes, Alzheimer's and just about everything one can suffer from.
I'm not really doing this just to lose weight. I've been this weight most of my life, except for a period when I dated a foodie. We spent 3 years of our relationship gorging twice a week on decadent meals in fancy New York restaurants. The boyfriend treated every meal as if it was a 25th anniversary. He insisted we both get a cocktail, an appetizer, a full entree, a couple glasses of wine and a dessert. When I balked, he complained I was being "no fun." The minute I broke off the relationship, I hired a trainer. Two years later, I'm 20 pounds lighter.
Although I'm pretty happy with how I look, I'd love to give my system a jump-start and a full internal cleansing. I figure a cleanse does to the body what a mechanic does to the car when you drop it off and ask for a full overhaul. And honestly, I wouldn't mind shedding 10 pounds. I figure at this point I could do it by upping my cardio workouts, trying this 21-day cleanse or getting liposuction. I'm too lazy to take up running, too scared to try lipo, so I'm settling on the cleanse.
The First Night
Today started out well even though I had no plans to start the Cleanse. I had my usual oatmeal with strawberries and almonds. For lunch, I had vegetables and fried rice, which sounds healthy, except it has about 5 tablespoons of oil and soy sauce. Then I lost it when someone said there was a bunch of free food in the office kitchen. I found the spread and ate about 20 peanut M&Ms, a quarter of a corn muffin and a bagel with schmear. I worked out with my personal trainer and when I got home, I had 3 Cadbury chocolates left over from a summer trip to London.
As soon as I swallowed the chocolate, I headed out the door to the local grocery store. Dinner had to be the shake. I was officially starting the cleanse.
First, a bit about Alejandro Junger's "The Clean Program." It consists of 2 shakes a day (breakfast and dinner), with a healthful meal for lunch. You swallow about 5 pills with every meal. The shakes are meant to nourish the body while cleaning out toxins. The pills help along the process.
The hardest part now that I'm into this a total of 2 hours was the grocery store and the walk home. Everything I wouldn't be able to eat taunted me from the shelves. I can eat beans as part of lunch, but how much fun are they without tortilla chips? I was depressed walking by the Betty Crocker aisle. I looked woefully at the yogurt. I could smell the coffee emanating from the Starbucks bags as I examined my green tea options. "Oh dear God," I thought, "how will I get by without coffee and half-and-half for 21 days?"
On the walk home, I considered bagging the cleanse for the night and starting in the morning. I almost ducked into the local Indian restaurant for my last chicken korma meal. Then I remembered that I had rice for lunch. I considered a slice of pizza until I remembered all the bread in that bagel.
Fine. I'd start the cleanse.
When I got home, I took out the blender and opened all the packaging for the cleanse. I put a scoop of the Nourish powder and a scoop of the Move powder into the blender, added a few blueberries for flavor and a cup of water. I blended it and then drank it as fast as possible. It didn't taste any worse than your average protein shake, but I couldn't help but think: 42 more of these babies.
With the shake down, I swallowed the 5 pills which will regulate my insulin production, eliminate bad bacteria, restore healthy intestinal flora and aid my digestion. After reading the material, I learn that I should be drinking enough water that I'd be peeing on the hour. And I learned that optimal digestion means a bowel movement after every meal.
Here's a fun one for you: according to Junger, healthy stool looks and has the consistency of peanut butter. Healthy stool will ease on out without effort and it won't smell up the bathroom. If you're grossed out by this paragraph, let me remind you that everybody poops. And apparently healthy people do it a whopping three times a day.
So far I do feel energized. I cleaned the kitchen and wrote this up, despite having worked a full day and endured a workout on little sleep.
So far, so good. We'll see how I do tomorrow without coffee. I already packed a snack for the office (almonds and an apple, but ONLY if I am dying for food). For lunch tomorrow I will order chicken breast and steamed veggies.
More Diary of a Cleanse:
My First Full Day: How Did It Go?
Read more about the "The Clean Program" on the official Website.
